Searching for the moment when your skills are in total synch with you inner vision is the great goal of an artist. For me it drives me to paint more and more trying for new ways to say the things I want to put down on canvas or paper. I do think that there are ways for the artist to be unique even if some will say it has all been done before. But remember even if it has been done before it has not been done by you so keep pushing and painting.
Some days you just show up and do your job. I worked for the same reason today that most painters do it is what I do. I wanted to call in sick but I think my boss, since I a work for myself would have told me to get to work or I was fired. I read in the Rotko biography by Breslin that he painted all the time not because he had to but because he just new that something miraculous might happen anytime so he painted waiting for the miracle.
I am beginning to understand why Motherwell always stated that a painter enjoys his work like he enjoys the body of a woman. Either you are totally involved or you are not a painter. The subject you choose to work with determines itself as you begin to paint almost ast if the medium has a mind of its own. I try hard to work out a painting with much frustration and then without a moments notice the subject is there before me on the canvas. Sometimes I say that is too easy or been done before but I must say it hasn't been done by me. I have several struggles in the process of painting and today I feel okay because the demons are quiet and I have a purpose in my work. My point here is that I like the absolute beautity and simplicity of statement of black and white but I am afraid to follow my instincts and leave the painting be when it is just a black line on a piece of canvas . I fear rejection or ridicule that it not enough and any fool can do it but it has taken a few years to get to that wonderful mark. I am making the the mark.